internal dialogue

How much do you value the voice in your head?
And how does it affect you?

Have you ever actually listened into your internal dialogue, or have had conversations with yourself?  Maybe even arguments?  How often?  When do you choose to tune in, or tune out?  Or do you spend most time ZONED OUT and just “do”? Or do you spend too much time hearing the voices or thoughts and opinions of others instead of your own?

There’s certainly an art behind finding a balance between thinking and executing.   Switching gears between these two isn’t rigid like switching gears of a manual transmission.  It takes time.

Time set aside just to think–on its own–is highly undervalued!  Think about the last time you sat down for at least twenty minutes to brainstorm a solution to a problem, or think up something creative or innovative towards your craft.. and in SILENCE!  How about the last time you took 30 seconds to literally tell yourself that you CAN do or overcome (insert daunting task or life obstacle here)–I’m talking OUT LOUD tell yourself?  Try it.

Take a break from “doing” and spend some quality time with your internal dialogue.  You start to learn so much more about
-your ambitions
-your values
-your desires versus your actual needs
and so much more.

Then when it’s time to do whatever you’ve been thinking about:
do it damn well.

 

on my way

I’ve been a constantly on-the-go kind of person.
Constantly on my way to the next destination.

When I was a toddler–it was bouncing between grandparents’ homes in the city since my parents worked long hours throughout the week.

In grade school–it was balancing being the honor roll student and figuring out what other things I enjoyed aside from scoring grades that would appease my parents.

Enter in my undergrad–it became the most jumbled time of all: moving out, making friends, switching majors, socializing and studying (probably one more than the other)… putting in hours, learning how to be a teacher by day, and serving long islands at night to help with U of I’s crazy tuition fees.  Somehow, I also seemed to fall in love with Filipino cultural dancing,  playing football with some badass girls, reversing the “freshman fifteen” on a budget, and a new love interest.

May 2013–FINALLY–I made it to the graduation stage on time, despite the whirlwind of busyness of undergrad.  I just felt like I had worked so hard, spent so many hours awake, too many hours worrying, but I finally made it.  That summer, I am fortunate enough to land my first job as a middle school language arts teacher.  6th grade.  Of course I needed to be doing more than just my day job, so let’s try this CrossFit thing.  Expensive?  It’s fine, it’ll make me go.. stay off the freshman fifteen of real, adult life and it’ll keep me less stressed.  More on this story in my About section (to come).

Fast-forward to 2017.. I’m 26 years old, and realize life is passing by incredibly fast.  It’s going by so fast that I find a hard time being able to slow down, appreciate it, or even give people close to me the time of day to listen to them.  It was like I was running on auto-pilot–wake, work, workout, worry, work, sleep. repeat.  Again, many hours awake, and too many hours worrying–that for whatever reason, whatever I was doing was just not my best–not enough.

Through months of self-talk, internal wars, pros and cons lists and numerous prayers… I came to the realization that it was time to slow things down.  Focus in on less in order to be able to do more–for myself and so therefore, for others.

That July, I decided I was going to set off on my way…
down “the road less traveled by… and it has made all the difference.”

I have left my occupation as a public school educator, and I have committed to this new journey as a full-time CrossFit and Nutrition Coach, as well as what I like to call a “casually competitive” athlete at CrossFit Des Plaines.  I say it nonchalantly/matter-of-fact-ly, but this was a crazy ride in itself!

Now, I’m on my way…
to the next destination

theroadnottaken